Last night, all the girls went to bed so easily no getting up and crying. It was great, I fell right to sleep after I laid down. Around 1:30 A.M. I hear a little voice, “mommy I cold.” My sweet 2-year-old climbed into bed and got under the covers, I was too tired to take her back to her room just yet. About 5 minutes later, I had this strange feeling someone was watching me. So I cautiously opened my eyes and there stands my 5-year-old. “Mommy I saw Daisy was gone and she is in your bed, can I get in?” I was so tired and know there isn’t really room for both of them. I sharply set up in my bed and sighed “Get back to bed now, I am too tired for this, you should both be in your own beds, you’re big girls.” Then I hear my husband half awake chiming in “GO TO BED.” So I got up and before we made it into the room, I firmly whispered “BE VERY QUIET! IF YOU WAKE YOUR BABY SISTER UP, I’M GOING TO BE SO UPSET” They laid down and didn’t wake their sister up. So I went and laid back down ready to fall back to sleep, when all of a sudden I was hit with a thought. “Kayla why are you frustrated your 2 year old and 5 year old needed you in the middle of the night?” “Aren’t they suppose to come to you when they need something?” “After all you are their mom.” I remember praying for 2 and half years, every night, some nights crying, and telling God, “If you bless me with a baby I will love that baby so much, I will take such good care of him/her.” “I won’t even be frustrated about being up all night with him/her.” Here I am 3 little girls later, frustrated that I had to get up with them. I started praying asking God to help me remember what it means to be their mom. I then started to realize, this is how my everyday is with them. Frustrated that they spilled lemonade all over, that they colored on something they shouldn’t have, that they needed me to help them with this or that but I was busy doing housework. My children saw me more frustrated than they did happy. I immediately felt convicted. So when I woke up this morning to read my Bible and pray, I started reading verses on children. How are we to raise our children according to the word? Well I knew a few of the common verses about children but never really dug into them like I should.
Ephesians 6:4 says “Fathers, don’t exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.”
Right when I read that I immediately was convicted, Have I been leading my children in the way of the Master? No, I truthfully haven’t. I’ve been leading them by my frustrations and feelings. I then started to think well, there are days where they just disobey over and over, they push my patience all day, and they know what is right and what is wrong but still do the wrong thing, and that’s so frustrating! Yelling is justified right? Then I felt the Holy Spirit saying “How often do you disobey your heavenly Father? How often do you do wrong when you know what He has told you?” “How does the Lord respond to you in those moments? Does he yell at you and tell you how disappointed he is in you? Does he make you feel ashamed for you what you did?” No, he takes me by the hand, he gives me grace, he gives me forgiveness, and he doesn’t hand out shame.
We have to as parents, love our children and discipline our children the way the Lord does with us, his children. We have to look at his nature and how he loves us and guides us and cultivate the same relationship with our children. We can’t just yell and then leave them feeling ashamed, if that’s all we do just think of the way our children view love. How distorted will it make their view of the love from our heavenly Father that we are always telling them about.
I want my children to grow up and know how truly loved they are, not only by my husband and I but most of by Jesus. How can that happen if I’m not showing them love like Jesus? I can’t.
This isn’t an easy subject to talk about, especially with the culture we live in now. So many different views on parenting and how it should be done. Thankfully we can let the Bible be our guide, our source of wisdom and discernment when we aren’t sure what to do.
So today I pray that God will give us all fresh eyes, to see our children how he does and to love our children the way he does. I pray that we would be clothed in the Spirit of Christ as we go through out our day.